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02 September 2008 @ 07:43 pm
Cuppa Tea, Cuppa Tea...  
Hello.  It's been a while, we know, but we're not dead!  And in fact, we have a new diary for you. 
Diary: Wesley: Cuppa Tea...
Authors: visualthinker11  and myself.
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em.
Feedback: Yes please!

Day One
Tea: Darjeeling.
Rank at watcher's academy: 11th
Fieldwork tomorrow! Am v. excited to do as so few Watchers have done before me and face a real and actual Vampyr. Have read extensively on the species and am curious, frankly, to see how the transformation-to-Vampyric-state ("wrinkled forehead" process) works.

Day Two
Tea: Chamomile. Decaffeinated.
Rank at Watcher's Academy: 27th.  
Don't know how this happened.  All 26 above me have never faced an actual Demon of the Night.  There's no telling what they would do under the incredible pressure.

Really, under the circumstances, I'm sure even Quentin Travers himself might cower and make high-pitched noises.

Day Three
Tea: English Breakfast.
Rank: 26th
Still recovering from fieldwork. And consequences of fieldwork.

On upside, at least I kept a level head (on some level) and am ready to work my way back up the ranks with Dedication, Intelligence, and Preparation. Am drinking Mr. Travers' favorite tea and rereading the Slayer's Handbook practically as we speak.

Day Four
Tea: Earl Grey.
Rank: 27th
Still not in Mr.Travers' good graces.  (Don't understand--had hoped knowing Slayer Handbook cover to cover would have fixed the problem straightaway.) Was not even invited to annual Watcher's Retreat. Though was probably for the better, anyway--would have inevitably returned covered in mosquito bites or poison ivy, like last time.
Day Five
Tea: Chamomile.
Rank: 27th
Quite the drama in Sunnydale, California!  Ms. Gwendolyn Post, ex-Watcher, recently went evil and attempted to rule the world.  It's fascinating, really.  Do recall having met her years ago, when she was also attending the Watcher's Academy.  Teachers all said she was brilliant, high marks on everything.  Wonder how she managed to infiltrate the council's time-honored ranking system.

...Think Lagos had anything to do with it?
Day Six
Tea: Ceylon
Rank: 26th
This Gwendolyn Post business got me thinking, so I took on a bit of an extra credit research project, to learn more of demon-worship Sunnydale. poked my nose in a few books, tracked down a few unfriendly sources, and...well, you get the idea.

The results: Sunnydale, California, also known as the Mouth of Hell, was originally settled by the Spaniards and they called it "Boca del Infierno."  Fascinating!  I should try research even more often in my free time.

Day Seven
Tea: NONE. See below.
Rank: 25th
Randy Thompson forgot to refresh the Council's supply of tea! Would be having a panic attack at inherent wrongness of Watcher’s Council without tea, but now I'm further up the ranks. So, as you can see, there is a silver lining after all.  

Day Eight
Tea: Still none.
Rank: 23rd
Have been assigned for a second field test against a Vampyr.  Without my morning cup of tea, my constitution is just not feeling stable enough for this.  Coffee just does not do the trick, you know?  Plus ours smells funny. But maybe this is good news.  They decided to give me a second chance that I am ready for this trial.


You know they do say third time is the charm... I mean, Mr. Travers likes to say that the first time's your only chance, but other people believe that other option...right?
Day Nine
Cup of tea: English Breakfast
Ranking: 25th
You know I really do prefer research to fieldwork. Discoverd that "third time is the charm" belief is v. popular indeed... only a third time with the Vampyr isn't looking so appealing right now.

Oh, but I thought to send a bulk order of English Breakfast Tea, so the council will probably save me from getting bitten and bleeding to death should that third Vampyr encounter occur might just become a respected Watcher after all.
Day Ten
Cup of tea: still English Breakfast
Rank: 24th
Cruciamentum coming up... things getting v. exciting here at Council. Mr. Travers is getting all his accounts squared away before he leaves for, as he put it, "that hellhole." Think he was talking about Sunnydale.
Day Eleven
Tea: No time for tea!
Rank: 22nd
Have been charged with the honorable task of preparing Mr. Travers's luggage for his upcoming voyage to the Mouth of Hell.  So far list of accessorial items to pack includes coffee (Taster's Choice); the usual crosses and holy water; extra strong sunblock (hear the UV radiation is quite powerful in Sunnydale); maps of the United States, the Pacific Coast, and the state of California; a compass in case he gets lost in the wilds of Southern California; an American flag sweatshirt and an authentic baseball cap so he can effectively camouflage himself;  some English Breakfast; {some more English Breakfast just in case;}  and an extra pair of socks.
Day Twelve
Tea: Green
Rank: 21st
Am still amidst the packing. Didn't realize it took so long... even had to adjust my mission scenario! Original had me finished and rereading War and Peace by 2:00 pm, and seeing as it's 7:00...
Day Thirteen
Tea: Lady Grey
Rank: Up in the air
Well, Mr. Travers is off.  Other Watchers-in-Training (WITs) have complained about the arduous task of preparing the luggage of the Councilors.  Do not understand.  Packing for Mr. Travers was a great honor.  Feel incredible pride even if didn't have time to read War and Peace for the 13th time.  Was well worth it.  Expect to see myself rising in the ranks soon, unless I forgot something.

Dear Lord, what if I forgot something?!

Day Fourteen
Tea: English Breakfast, of course
Rank: 20th
Apparently the Slayer's rite of passage did not go as planned.  Mr. Travers returned from the states all in a huff about this Watcher, Rupert Giles, and his blatant disregard for the rules of the Council.  Mr. Travers was so distracted that he didn't even yell at me when I dropped all of his luggage, some of which sounded perishable, down the stairs!

Day Fifteen
Tea: Darjeeling.
Rank: irrelevant!
Am being sent to the Mouth of Hell, where I shall shepherd the Slayer through her many inevitable trials and tribulations in the battle against evil.

Really, quite pleasantly shocked at the promotion.  Didn't see it coming.

...They're not just trying to get rid of me, are they?
Day Sixteen
Tea: An insufferable orange peoke I was handed by airline hostess
Rank: WIT no more!
To be frank, am rather excited about my promotion. This is going to go splendidly. I have training with Vampyrs that no other watcher has, and I have my natural intelligence (and good looks) to guide me as well. This job should be, what's the phrase again? A piece of scone? A part of a pastry?

A bit of biscuit?

Day Seventeen
Dear Watchers,
Tea: Black. Nothing so good as what the council had to offer, of course.
Slayers (!): willful and insolent.
First meeting did not go quite as anticipated.  Needless to say, this Rupert Giles has been filling their heads with rubbish.  And American teenagers these days are entirely unsophisticated--must be all that godawful coffee they drink.  Still, have undoubtedly impressed all with my great knowledge and research skills.


My field tests against the Vampyrs had in no way prepared me for great blobby demons who like to remove kneecaps.  Really, am considering writing an irate letter to Watcher's Academy recommending a change.
Day Eighteen
Dear Watchers,
Tea: Earl grey.
Slayers: Investigating.
Met a fascinating new resident of Sunnydale, California today! Her name is Miss Cordelia Chase and she teaches psychology.

TAKES psychology. Right, right.


Total and utter excitement over getting to speak to Mr. Travers again was somewhat dampened by the fact that our conversation centered around the fact one of my slayers has become a cold-blooded murderer. Was not immediately fired, but probably should have been.

Day Nineteen
Dear Watchers,
Tea: Darjeeling
Slayers: Probably not homicidal.
My field experience has proved useful after all! (or third time is the charm...only this isn't really the third time...nevermind.) Have just saved myself and Miss Chase from the dreadful clutches of a Creature of the Night.

Miss Chase is really quite mature for her age.

Day Twenty
Dear Watchers,
Slayer 1: Rather upset that Slayer 2 is evil.
Slayer 2: see above.
Cordelia quite valiantly offered to assist me in my research endeavours, alongside Buffy's other friends.  Do wish Slayers were more like Cordelia, or at least had more friends like her.
Day Twenty-One
Dear Watchers,

Slayer: psychic.  (But she will never read my thoughts, for I have been highly trained in the making of secret codes at the prestigious Watcher's Academy.)

Myself: not thinking about Ordelia-cay.  Far smarter than Uffy-bay.
Day Twenty-Two
Dear Watchers,
(not-rogue) Slayer: Too centered on college plans and friendships. And also haircare...really how does she end up fighting anything?
Box of Gavrock: with Mayor.  not with Mayor. with Mayor again.
Well I think so far things in Sunnydale are going fabulously. For example, I've pretty much got sarcasm down flat.
Day Twenty-Three,
Dear Watchers,
Slayer: Hunting hellhounds (see below)
Am chaperoning Sunnydale High Prom!  Was worried about distraction from watching duties, of course, but have decided I can watch, er, people, just fine "007 style."

Plus Prom isn't safe from hellhounds, and avoiding the event would really be against my duties on the whole.  Hellhounds trained to attack the beautiful and well-groomed, so Cordelia naturally at great risk--best if I watch her for the night.
Day Twenty-Four
Dear Watchers,
Slayer: Um, how to say it...Slayer has chosen to help the evil, evil Vampyr Angelus in his dying hours, as she is infatuated with him.  In light of the Council's refusal to provide assistance, she has offered her resignation.

Sure she'll come around.  This sort of thing must happen all the time.

Day Twenty-Five
Dear Watchers,
Oh bother.  If a Watcher Watches but no one is around to Slay, is he really Watching?

At least Cordelia thinks I'm classy.


Have joined Buffy and Cordelia and others in the battle against the Mayor.  Thought perhaps could be of use creating mission scenarios, but Buffy wants to use some sort of manuscript written by Angelus.  He refers to the demonic text as his "magnum opus."  Really, do not understand American youth.
Day Twenty-Six
Apocalypse over.  Am alive, but have certainly been better.  Right now it seems I am in dire need of relationship counseling.  And also possibly a new spleen.  Cordelia is leaving for Los Angeles with the demon and his manuscript.

Despite years of effort poured in, wondering if Watching is really the right career choice after all.


After a bit of soul-searching, have decided my good looks and charm cannot go to waste any longer.  Am headed to Hollywood to try my hand at a career in film.
Failing that, I can probably make it on Passions.

Tags: ,
Lilylavastar on September 3rd, 2008 12:28 am (UTC)
Ahhh! This is sofuckinghilarious! Oh, Wesley. He amuses me to no end when he's all S3 and uptight. Or a rogue demon hunter.

I love the tea thing, and the rank report. And the Cordy lusting. And the general Wesley-being. It's just really, really great.

visualthinker11 / radio_silent: btvs- season 8 (new identity)visualthinker11 on September 3rd, 2008 12:45 am (UTC)
welsey's pretty amazing... and, yes, thank you very much!

moar is in the works, we promise. though we usually do like to get a jumpstart on the next entry before posting, wesley took so long we thought we'd go ahead. so hopefully the next one will go faster...
toothpasted on September 3rd, 2008 12:36 am (UTC)
i can see it now: the Mighty Boosh, season four, starring... The Watcher! "trapped in a box by an uptight nutjob, 'ave a cuppa tea, 'ave a cuppa tea..."
most excellent. I especially love the endlessly fluctuating watcher/slayer ratings.
visualthinker11 / radio_silent: btvs- season 8 (new identity)visualthinker11 on September 3rd, 2008 12:44 am (UTC)
thank you!
and i'm impressed with your incredibly hasty and wonderful response.
something clever: jayeshah_of_blah on September 3rd, 2008 12:45 am (UTC)
and i'm impressed by your Mighty Boosh reference...
visualthinker11 / radio_silent: firefly- inaravisualthinker11 on September 3rd, 2008 12:47 am (UTC)
the two of you are the same person, i'm sorry.
something clever: emersonshah_of_blah on September 3rd, 2008 12:54 am (UTC)
i've only seen one episode of it...the old greg thing. i came into my room one day last year and my roommate and our friend were watching it and it was one of those "wtf" moments in life. but i watched it with them.
visualthinker11 / radio_silent: firefly- browncoat spiritvisualthinker11 on September 3rd, 2008 01:10 am (UTC)
...eerily, vaugley similar people then.
something clever: kara sunshineshah_of_blah on September 3rd, 2008 01:18 am (UTC)
just looking at your icon, i wanted to say "and so can kneecaps!"
toothpasted on September 3rd, 2008 03:12 am (UTC)
all of it is just like that. except sometimes even better.
toothpasted on September 3rd, 2008 03:06 am (UTC)
ha, that is probably because you are shocked that I am capable of writing you messages in less than a week. but I am working on my response to you! actually! it is just that my homework load has suddenly become much larger than it was last week. excuses excuses.
aaronlisaaaronlisa on September 3rd, 2008 01:13 am (UTC)
I have to love S3 Wesley when he was all uptight, all for the rules and lusting after Cordelia.
something clever: peachy keenshah_of_blah on September 3rd, 2008 07:41 pm (UTC)
So do we. (Have to love S3 Wesley)
Thanks for reading!
Rebcake: tearebcake on September 3rd, 2008 05:45 am (UTC)
That Wesley, he's a caution! All of this was terrific, but I especially loved the results of all his Day 6 extra credit research. Just a little behind times, our soon-to-be rogue.
something clevershah_of_blah on September 3rd, 2008 07:42 pm (UTC)
Re: Cuppa
Thank you! I don't know what that means about him being a caution, but I'll assume it's a good thing.
I write tragedies, not sinsmabus101 on September 3rd, 2008 06:30 am (UTC)

Wesley is so funny when he's being a clueless idiot. Sometimes wish he'd stayed that way.
something clevershah_of_blah on September 3rd, 2008 07:43 pm (UTC)
I sometimes wish that too. (Not a huge Ats fan)
Thanks for reading! Glad we could inspire an "Ahahaha!"
dragonflylady77: Dr Horrible fingersdragonflylady77 on September 12th, 2008 02:07 pm (UTC)
OMG He's so uptight and clueless..
Loved the ratings and the tea and the bit about Slayer mood..

something clever: bees!shah_of_blah on September 13th, 2008 06:51 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading! And leaving so much feedback. And the rec on your journal!
busybutlazybusybutlazy on October 29th, 2008 06:30 pm (UTC)
I had an extreme busy catching up now...Tea: PG